A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Getting Healthy

As I get older, I am much more conscious of my need to live a healthier lifestyle.  Cut carbs, go low-fat, shun sugar & exercise more. For a number of reasons, I have a really hard time with all of these things, but I know that they need to be done.  I need to be healthy in order to continue to be here for my babies.  They’re not exactly babies any longer, I know, but you get the idea.  When I started this blog, I was on a diet and exercise kick all in an effort to be better.  Then I went AWOL.  I don’t really know what happened.  I have tried to remember what derailed me, but for the life of me, I’m drawing a blank.  You know what that means, don’t you?  It really was nothing at all.  Just some excuse for me to go home, find the nearest comfy couch, a bag of Oreos and sit down.  

Ah, but alas…it’s time for me to get back on track.  Yes, you heard me say it here folks.  I need to get my butt back in gear and at the very least, get back on some sort of exercise routine.  But, I’m taking baby steps here, first exercise then diet because, you know, the holidays are here and more than one of you have asked me to post some of my favorite Thanksgiving recipes  (that post will be up later this week).  Please don’t make me write about all of the delicious food that graces my holiday table and expect me not to eat it.  That would just be mean.

I will need some encouragement, some cheerleaders and some coaching.  I’m counting on you all to help keep me going because, like I said, exercise is NOT something that I enjoy. However,  I have realized that I need it (everybody needs it) just like I need air to breath. Not to mention that I do want to look a little cuter in my jeans, too!  Just keeping it real.      

  *This post was written in response to the blog link up on Champagne to Crayons, Day 17: Health, Celebrating 28 days of Thanks.If you would like to read more posts from my fellow bloggers, click here.

Long Live Lara Croft

Photo courtesy of Southweb.org

Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the past week, you already know that actress and activist Angelina Jolie revealed that she had chosen to have a double mastectomy due to the fact that she carries the gene BRCA1 which sharply increases her risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer.  Jolie’s mother, Marcheline Bertrand, died in 2007 after a 10 year battle with cancer.  While Jolie’s situation is fairly rare (the genetic mutation is not common), I was really impressed by her decision and I applaud her for being so forth coming about the reasons why she chose this course of action.  As you know, I am all about family and the fact that she chose this option to ensure that she could continue be there for her children and partner has garnered my, as well as seemingly the world’s, total respect.  What’s even better is that she used her celebrity to shed light on the need for greater accessibility to cost effective genetic testing, research and education to women of all socio-economic  backgrounds.  I know that it sounds corny, but in this case, it does prove that knowledge is power.

However, there is one other aspect of this story that really struck me.   In her op-ed piece for the New York Times where Ms. Jolie went public about her medical ordeal, she says, “On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”  We’re talking about Lara Croft, here!  I don’t care what your man said as he was running, not walking, out of the door to see the Tomb Raider movies, he was not going to see these movies because he thought it was great cinema.  Angelina Jolie is hot!  I know it, you know it and your man knows it.  She has built a career (at least in part) due to the fact that she is a bona fide sex symbol.  Granted, in recent years her movie roles and philanthropic interests have ventured away from roles like Croft, she is still regarded as one of the most beautiful women in the world.  With that in mind, it made her decision to remove her breasts, for more or less a prophylactic reason, that much more powerful.

Would you have done the same thing?  I’ve never been in that situation so, obviously, I don’t really know what I would do but, the truth is that few things are so synonymous with a woman’s femininity as our breasts.  Well, maybe our ability or desire to have children.  Even the Bible makes it clear that a woman’s breasts are a sensual part of her being designed for pleasing her husband:

Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters.
⁸ I say I will climb the palm tree
and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
and the scent of your breath like apples,

Song of Solomon 7:7-8

¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
¹⁹     a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated^[a] always in her love.

Proverbs 5: 18-19

So, is it not understandable why so many women who have been confronted with a breast cancer diagnoses have struggled with the thought of losing their breasts?  I have listened survivors tell me how they have mourned after the mastectomy and wondered if their spouses would still be attracted to or even love them. These were average, everyday women just like you or me, not women that have had their red carpet appearances scrutinized and every fashion choice critiqued. Not, women who have appeared nude on the big screen or have hair and make-up professionals waiting to fix them up whenever they need it.  They are our neighbors, our hair stylists, our manicurists, the lady at the grocery store check out or the dry cleaners.  They are us.  On the other hand, our careers weren’t built on our looks and that is what made Ms. Jolie’s decision that much more remarkable.

No, our identities and our femininity are not tied to our breasts.  We are wives, mothers, sisters and daughters.  We are lawyers and doctors, writers and teachers, nurses and firefighters, police and construction workers.  Our hotness is measured by so much more than our bra size.  Our value is determined by how we feel about ourselves – powerful, strong, capable.  Courage is our tool to taking care of ourselves and faith is our armor.  Thank you, Angelina for reminding us that being a woman is about the sum and not just one (well, two) parts.

Too Many Transgressions to Count

Big Poppa’s home!  Just in time for a busy week here in his kingdom (it’s really more like my “queendom” but, I don’t like to rub it in) then he’s off again.  I tell you, if I had his life, I’d be posting all kinds of updates from exciting and glamorous locations around the globe but, alas, you will have to settle for my updates from the local Target, Home Goods and Kroger.   I am happy to see him but, due to some rather unfortunately long shipping delays, he is going to become aware of some of my shopping transgressions and well, let’s just say that I’ve been rather naughty.  Discussions will ensue and well….”sigh”.  I promise that I will do better…really.

Which brings me to another topic where I promise to do better – exercise.  This is where I must fall prostrate before you and beg for your forgiveness.  I have completely fallen off of the “Fitness Wagon” and for the past two weeks eaten what ever I want and done absolutely no exercise. I’m ashamed. I’m embarrassed.  I’m sorry! I could blame it on changes to my schedule, or having a house guest for a few days, or that my cutest work out clothes were in the laundry but, they really are just excuses.  I have fallen off my game and it is mea maxima culpa. I promise that tomorrow morning I will be back in the gym, and every day this week through Thursday.  I do have a very legitimate reason for missing Friday but, you will have to wait until next weekend to find out what it is.  I also promise that I will go back to eating better.  No more chips, no more brownies, no more sweet tea (that one is very difficult for me).  Although, keep in mind that I am in the process of writing a recipe for a pineapple/apricot filled cupcake and that will involve some taste testing so, cut me some slack, okay?

By the way, did I tell you that Big Poppa surprised me with a tin of Garrett’s Popcorn when he returned? And it was “Chicago Mix”  which is cheese popcorn mixed with caramel popcorn.  Soooo gooood!  Now, if you know anything at all about Chicago, you know that Garrett’s is the absolute best popcorn…in the world…ever!  I don’t even eat other gourmet popcorn because everything else is just a poor imitation.  He got home at midnight and yes, the moment he pulled it from his bag, I sat down, opened the tin and began eating.  It’s cheesy and caramely and probably full of lots of fat and calories.  I didn’t care.  I have a list of all of the restaurants that I’m going to visit when I go back to Chicago for vacation and Garrett’s is at the top of that list.  In fact, I probably won’t make it out of the airport before my fingers are all yellow and cheesy.  He remembered this (probably because I have said it like 400 times since we moved) and brought it to me as a token of his affection.  A “Thinking of You” gift.  He’s perfect.  I ate a bit then left the tin on the kitchen counter.  This morning the girls saw it and begged to have it for breakfast.  I gave them the evil eye and told them that  maybe they could have a little bit after church.  Just a little!  Well, after church they got the tin to have their “little bit” and this is what was left:

 

Yep, they wiped out all of my delicious popcorn and a piece of Chicago – home – in less than 20 minutes.  I should have been grateful for all of the calories that they saved me but, instead, I could barely speak to them. I find their lack of self-control and respect for my popcorn to be terribly upsetting.  Although, it does make it easier for me to think of getting back on the straight and narrow path toward my next pair of reward shoes at the end of my next 10 pound loss.  Not getting rid of the tin though.  I want to hold on to those sweet, albeit brief, memories.

So, please forgive me and cheer me on as I try to get back on track.  I need all of the encouragement that I can get.  Oh, and make sure that you check back on Wednesday’s food blog.  I will be announcing the details of my very first give-away just in time for Mother’s Day.  Oh, and if it wouldn’t be asking too much, can you scroll to the bottom of this page and click “Like” on my Facebook page? It would sure make this girl feel good.  Thank you!

Burpees? Are You Kidding Me?!

Last week on my Facebook page I challenged my readers to double up on their workouts for the week.  I don’t know exactly how many of them actually did it (or shall I say, how many of “you” actually did it,  since some of you may follow me on FB) but, I do know of at least one person who participated but, then she turned around and challenged me to 6 burpees  after every work out. If you don’t know what a burpee is, stay tuned.  I took her up on her challenge but, I didn’t like it.  So, you say, “Silly girl! Why would you double up on your workouts?” Good question!  One that I asked myself every day last week.  Well, mainly because I had reached a plateau and just couldn’t seem to break through.  I had promised myself that for every 10  pounds that I lost, I would reward myself with a new pair of shoes.  I was getting desperate because, no matter how much I want to get back into my old jeans, or how cute I want to look at my daughter’s college graduation next month, I really want those shoes! In fact, I want as many pair of shoes that I can possibly, yet reasonably, get by November when I turn 47.  Then there was the fact that I was losing my focus.  I wasn’t eating as clean as I should be and I was only putting forth minimal effort in my workouts.  I needed to get back into the zone.  Finally,  there was the fact that Easter was coming and, well, I was pretty sure that I was not skipping the Chocolate Pie or the Strawberry Cake.  Would you? So, I increased my exercise plan to about 2 hours per day for four days straight while eating very, very clean.   It was a very long week and I was very sore but, I learned some very valuable lessons during this past week, and they are as follows:

1. This is a burpee.  I am not a fan. I believe that the person who created this move is sadistic.

2. Increasing my workouts made me VERY, VERY hungry!  Ravenous would not be an overstatement.

3. Being hungry makes me grouchy.

4. Hard workouts bring better sleep at night.  The only good thing that made up for going to bed hungry and grouchy.

5. Lunges are still worse than burpees.

6. I am much stronger than I thought I was.

7. Pushing yourself pays off.

8. Telling people that you are going to do it kind of forces you to actually follow through and DO IT! I suggest that you not tell others that you are going to do burpees.

9. It feels really good to put on a pair of jeans that had been too tight and find out that they are now actually kind of loose.

There is good news!  I did break through the plateau and actually lost 3 pounds.  Yay, me!  Soooo……..

Aren’t they cute?!  I kind of thought it fitting that my first pair of reward shoes be gym shoes.

Of course now that I’ve eaten everything bad (but, oh so good – if you know what I mean?) I will have to get back on track this week, too.  It’s a vicious cycle.

By the way, if you would like to follow me on Facebook or Twitter, just scroll to the bottom of this page to find links.  I would love to have you!

Nip Tuck? Probably Not Necessary

Wow! Let me start by saying that Texans really like to PARTY!  I had no idea!  Big Poppa and Thing 1 partied hard at the Daddy/Daughter dance. There was a chocolate fountain, carriage rides and rumor has it that Big Poppa was all over the dance floor when Gundam Style came on! … excuse me while I collect myself.  Then the whole city put on their best western wear for the kick off of the Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show.  Big Poppa, the girls and I (along with what seemed like the majority of the City of Houston) went down to Reliant Field to check out the festivities  and discovered that it was a giant party!  Oh, my word!  Not to mention that I saw at least a gazillion pair of truly cute boots!  There were tight jeans, boots and rhinestones EVERYWHERE!  Think modern-day “Rhinestone Cowboy” (again, if this reference is lost on you, Google it but, don’t tell me).  It was truly one of the best carnivals that I have ever been to in my life.

Awkward transition.

So, earlier this week I was sitting in a waiting room at the doctor, flipping through a magazine when I came across this advertisement:

Moms have their own plastic surgery makeovers?!  And, it includes my body, my face and my breasts? Like… EVERYTHING?  Wow! Mind you, this was not found in a celebrity magazine but, a local community publication.  Such pressure!

It’s no secret that I am currently on a quest to improve my fitness and lose some weight.  In part because I have two little girls that emulate me and I always want them to be healthy and physically active.  In part because I had these two little girls later in life and I want to be healthy and active for many years to come.  In part because I want cute new clothes to go with my cute new shoes (you know me!).  Also,  to me (and this is totally random), there is something about the number 47 that seems like such a sexy age.  I think it’s the number 7  because I felt the same way about 37 but, I was trying to get pregnant at 37 so there was no dieting going on.  I want to be the cutest 47-year-old that I can be. Vain? Yes, but, true.  I have to deal with how I feel about my own self image and my own insecurities.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who went through a similar situation as me when she moved with her family for her husband’s job.  She really wasn’t feeling it, not particularly happy and gained a bit of weight.  However, at some point she assessed her physical and emotional state and decided that  she didn’t like being who she had become.  Also, she was approaching the big 40.  She decided that, among other things, she wanted to be a  “Hot Mom” and she embarked on an exercise and fitness plan.  She definitely succeeded because she is, in fact, a hot mom!  No, really, I wish that I could despise her but, she’s just as nice as she is hot.  The thing is, what she did was done with common sense, determination and a commitment to her own health (with a little vanity thrown in for fun).

When I saw the advertisement above, I thought  “Who sets the beauty standard that says that I need these things fixed?”  Let’s be honest, motherhood changes your body. FOREVER.  You may be able to get back into your clothes after the birth of your children but, it’s never quite the same.  Your hips seem a bit wider, your stomach is not quite as taut. Then there are the breasts…deflated. Enough said.  These are natural changes that are a part of the process and, while I want to tone things up, I’m quite fine with it.  By the way, absolutely nothing permanent happens to your face during pregnancy so, I’m not sure why that would be a necessary part of a mom’s makeover.

Now, if you’re thinking about all of those celebrities that have had children and seemingly popped right back into shape immediately thereafter, please keep a few things in mind.  They are celebrities and it is part of their job to look that good.  Absolutely no one would want to see Beyoncé shimmying across the stage in a corset and booty shorts if she was 50 pounds heavier and Halle Berry would not be a sought after actress if she did not have that killer body.  These people have the money and time to hire personal trainers and personal chefs to make this all much more attainable.  They have personal assistants, hair and make up people and stylists to make sure that they always look their best, not to mention nannies, landscapers, cleaning ladies, accountants, publicists, etc. to help run their lives.  I too have people to help me run my life but, they happen to be five and six years old and they are not concerned with my needs.  Thing 1 likes to consider her self a style maven and I guess that I could have them help me with my hair and make up but, I’m fairly positive that I would end up looking a lot like either a  Las Vegas showgirl, Phyllis Diller, or some combination of the two.  The point is that we can’t compare our bodies or lives to those of celebrities because it’s just not realistic.

It’s okay to want to be a hot mom or the cutest 47-year-old ever.  It’s okay to want to be the best that you can be.  Yes, it’s okay to want super cute, tight jeans, that you tuck into super cute cowboy boots, with a super cute rhinestone studded white shirt, all tied together with a super cute belt with a huge buckle! No hat necessary, though  ’cause that might be over kill.  But, it’s really necessary to understand that what’s really important is that you set the standard and are the example for young, impressionable minds that watch you every day.   They walk around in your high heels, they play in your make up and jewelry and they dream about the day when they can wear your wedding gown to marry their own Prince Charming.  You are their Jackie Kennedy, Grace Kelly or Michelle Obama.  You are their style icon, life coach and Dear Abbey.  Use your influence wisely and teach them to love and take care of themselves.

Thank God It’s Monday!

Can you hear that?  Listen very carefully…nothing right?  That’s right! Ha! That’s because my house is quiet in blessed preparation for a return to school and work tomorrow.  It’s been two weeks since Thing 1 had her tonsillectomy followed by a bout of stomach flu that she caught from Thing 2. Sure, there’s a bit of coughing  and sneezing going on here and there but, they are going to have to suck it up and deal with it! Tomorrow, Momma get’s her house back! Ha! Don’t act like you have never felt this way before.  You know exactly where I’m coming from.  When the kids are home sick (and don’t even get me started on the husband), they are in your territory and you feel infringed upon. Sure, you nurse them and put up with their whining but, secretly (or not so secretly) you want this to pass quickly so that they can get out of your domain.  It’s your space and your time.

Every mom needs time to herself and I’m no exception.   It has taken me a long time to realize that, like many moms, I have my priorities a little out of whack.  As evidenced by the societal shift in how we refer to women or men who stay at home to take care of their children, the focus has become more on child rearing and less about the parent or the parental unit.  The old school terms “house wife/husband” have been replaced with “stay at home mom/dad”.  As if the need for parents to not only work on strengthening their relationships but, also to nourish their individual persons is not as important when, in fact, both of these are vital to the good health and happiness of our children.

Now, let me be clear, I am in no way advocating selfishness or that parents should in any way emotionally or physically neglect their children.  We need to support our children in their endeavors.  If they are musicians, we should be at their concerts. If they are athletes, we need to be at their games.  We need to listen to their problems and their silly talk  even when it’s about what boy likes what girl at recess.  I have to admit that I tend to zone out during these discussions because after all, they are five and six, how serious could these relationships be?  However, we do need to help them understand that mommy and daddy need to have time together to enjoy each others company and that their relationship is vitally important to the happiness  and security of the family. We must help them understand that individual wholeness is necessary to sustaining any healthy relationship and individual success.  Remember in the movie Jerry McGuire when Tom Cruise says to Rene Zellweger, “You complete me” ?  It was sweet, and I swooned along with every other woman in America but, it’s totally unreasonable.  Can you imagine the pressure that you’d be under to actually be held responsible for completing another person?  And with so many homes being headed by single parents, those parents need to find healthy ways to nourish themselves so that they can be a solid emotional, spiritual and physical foundation for their families, as well.

How do we nourish ourselves? Well, it’s different for different people.  For me, it’s through Bible Study and fellowship, writing, blogging and baking.  I have a friend who is an amazing artist and can not imagine her life without being able to express herself through her paintings.  It can be your job or a hobby but, it is something that you are passionate about that has nothing to do with anyone else besides yourself and leaves you feeling fulfilled.  I have to say that with these things in place in my life, I know that I am a better wife and a better mother because I feel a sense of personal accomplishment and  validation.

So, yes, tomorrow (or by the time you read this, today) I will get my “Me Time” back.  It will probably be spent doing laundry, wiping up spots where popsicle juice dripped on the floor,  changing  bed sheets and other mundane house work. But, it’s my time with my thoughts, when I can laugh out loud at some private joke without a little voice saying “What? What’s so funny?”  or I can sit on the sofa with a cup of coffee for a few minutes without someone busting me for drinking in the living room (a definite no-no in our house). Yep, it’s all my time and I plan to enjoy every minute of it.

Excuses, Excuses….

Every year for as log as I can remember, at least since high school, one of my New Year’s resolutions has been to lose weight (I will pause for your collective sigh).  Sometimes I would phrase it as “getting fit” or “firming up” but, it was pretty much all the same.  In recent years I gave up making it an official resolution and simply made it a sensible goal.  Sometimes I confided in other people about my intentions, while in other years I kept it to myself  just in case a trip the Cheesecake Factory permanently derailed my good intentions. You know how it goes, one night out with the hubby and the next thing you know, you’re getting cozy with a bag of Oreos followed by nachos and margaritas with your BFF.  It’s a slippery slope.

Under the circumstances (you know, the move and all) this year I avoided the topic altogether.  It was pointless to think that I could tackle weight loss while adjusting to my new surroundings and life.  I may not have mentioned this before but, the whole “adjustment thing”  isn’t going well, sooo….anyway, no, not really looking for anything as stressful as trying to lose weight.  You know what else I realized, no mater what size I have been or how much I have weighed over the years, I have always thought that I was heavy and needed to lose weight.  My body image has pretty much been the same.  This realization saddened me and I think that it speaks volumes regarding women and society’s “beauty myth”.  However, that’s a topic for another time. Right now, it served as the perfect excuse NOT to change my ways regarding my health and fitness.

Enter my big sister.  She and her husband came down to spend New Years with us and she is  staying on for a couple of weeks.  She likes to exercise.  I mean, she REALLY likes to exercise.  In case you didn’t get what I was saying above, I don’t.  Never have and never will.  She’s all “fitnessy” and I’m not.  She’s into all of the new exercise trends and reads magazines like Shape and Self.  I look at those magazines while waiting in the check out line at the grocery store, then I put them back.  Too much guilt.  Unbeknown to me, she came here with a plan to get me on a fitness program.  Last night she mentioned that we were going to the YMCA in the morning.  We? I do have a membership but, that’s because it’s a family membership and …well…I’m part of this family but, other than dropping off my kids for Parent’s Night Out, I’ve never been in the joint.  However, knowing that my sister is not the type of person that takes “no” for an answer, I went with her and got some information on classes and the facilities. I complained a lot.  She ignored me.  I complained some more and finally she agreed that we could simply go  for a walk on a walking trail near my home.  Actually, it’s right across the street.  Another place that I had never been.

I hate to admit this but, I really enjoyed it.  We walked and talked.  We walked some more (she walks really fast).  I complained some more just to keep things realistic.  Truthfully, it was a beautiful morning and the ducks and hawks were out around the lake.  Made me wish that I had my camera with me.  Maybe next time.  Yes, I am anticipating a next time and not just because she’s going to make me.  I do need to exercise more and improve my diet.  Not just for my own benefit but, also for my daughters.  I really can’t expect them to develop good habits that I don’t subscribe to myself.  Once again, my sister has informed me that we are going to go exercise again tomorrow.  I’m going to start whining bright and early tomorrow morning but, I’m going to go.

L