Tag Archives: Life

Hold On

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Hold on for the ride.

Hold on for the ride.

 

Eminem the philosopher.  I think he got it right. Life is really unpredictable, isn’t it?  That may qualify as an understatement, at least for me. Growing up I took so much for granted and I did not give much attention to the “how’s,” “what’s” and “why’s” of life. I see this in my grown children and it really drives me crazy.  I often have to remind myself that they are no different than I was, so don’t judge too harshly.  However, that’s the thing – I want them to be better than I was.  I want their pathways to be smoother and their tough pills to swallow, a little more palatable than mine were.  I’m a mom, that’s what I do.

I give advice and sometimes they take it and sometimes (usually) they don’t.  They have to make their own decisions and live with the results – good or bad.  Now, looking back, I can appreciate that, but then, not so much.  I see them struggling.  They prefer the security of home, but are itching to be on their own.  They are hesitant and yes, a bit scared.  I totally get it because I was once in their shoes. Headstrong, adventurous, curious and hopelessly optimistic…that was me then.  I’m still headstrong and curious, but a bit less adventurous and optimistic.  I think the word that I would now choose instead is “realistic”.  I’ve learned a lot from my past and I wouldn’t trade my life for anything even with the bumps and bruises.

Recently I’ve seen this meme on Facebook:

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Photo Credit: Pinterest

 

Hold on.  Those would be the two words that I would have written in that note to myself.  They are also the two words that I tell to my older children.

When the world is your playground and your opportunities are plentiful, hold on;

When the lights seem to dim and your options are few, hold on;

When you can’t sleep at night because the butterflies of young love flutter in your heart, hold on;

When you can’t sleep because you are heart-broken and alone, hold on;

When the blessings are bountiful be grateful and hold on;

When your blessings are few and you are sure that God has forgotten you, hold on;

When you want to high-five yourself because you scored a great deal on a used car, hold on;

When you realize that there’s not enough money to go around and maybe you should have stuck with public transportation instead of buying that used car, hold on;

When you find “The One”  – that perfect person that you want to spend your life with, hold on;

When the inevitable ups and downs of marriage cause you to question your sanity, hold on;

When your first child is born – the most perfect baby in the world –  and you are consumed with a love that is greater than anything that you have ever known, hold on;

When only two years later that perfect baby is a not so perfect child that tearfully screams “I HATE YOU!”, hold on

When you finally save enough money to purchase a new house, hold on;

When your new house becomes an old, drafty, worn down money pit, hold on; and

When life takes you on this wonderful, heart stopping, amazing and even sometimes terrifying ride, hold on.

Admittedly, not every moment of this life, my life, has been good.  In fact, some of it has been downright horrible.  I think most of us can agree with that to some degree.  There have been moments when I’ve been tempted to let go, throw in the towel and be done with it all.  Those were my lowest points and thankfully it wasn’t the norm.  However, I had no idea those days would come and if given the chance, I would alert my younger self to that fact. I would tell her that there are going to be a lot more sweet spots than dark days and sometimes you are going to have to look for them.  Just. Hold. On.

 

*This post was written in response to a blog prompt “If you could write a note to your younger self…” given by Cynthia at Centering Down.  If you would like to read other posts by my fellow bloggers, please click here.

 

 

 

 

Has it Really Come to This?

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My son  and I were having Chinese food for lunch when I reached for a fortune cookie.  I did it right. I took the one closest to me and this is what I found:

My fortune-less fortune.

My fortune-less fortune.

 

While I’m not a big believer in fortune cookies, I have to say that this is a bit of a downer!  Really?! Pick another fortune cookie! Like things are so pathetic here in my so called glamorous life that there is NO fortune for me?!  It didn’t help that my son was giggling uncontrollably while saying “Wow (giggle, giggle, giggle), Mom (giggle, giggle, giggle)!  I’ve never seen that before!”

I did pick another ’cause you know, I’m a sucker for doing dumb stuff.  You know what that said? It said “Passionate new romance appears in your life when you least expect it.”  Oh…well…THAT makes more sense now, doesn’t it?  Watch out there, Big Poppa!

 

Obviously, this restaurant needs to work on its fortune telling skills.

Change of Seasons

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This post is a response to the writing prompt “What’s A Challenge You Are Facing?”  You can read additional posts by my fellow bloggers at Flotsam of the Mind .

My youngest child started Kindergarten this week and my mind is in a really weird place right now.  The last time that I seriously thought about the reality of my kids progressing through school, moving out and leaving Big Poppa and I as empty-nesters was about 12 years ago.  It was a reality that I didn’t like then and I immediately set out to stop it from happening. I decided that I should have another baby.  I told Big Poppa of my desire and he surprisingly agreed to go along.  I was well aware that I was in my late thirties and he in his mid-forties yet, I was just not ready to not be a hands – on – mom.  Having children at home gave me purpose, they brought life to my house and gave me a type of joy that I couldn’t find anywhere else.  No, I wasn’t ready for all of that to end.

Fast forward eight years and two babies  and I am now entering my late forties, I have elementary, as well as, college students and life is never, ever dull.  I am satisfied. However, as I watched my two girls walk ahead of me to school this past Monday morning, I realized that this really is the beginning of the end of this season of my life. I know that it’s only Kindergarten but, remember, I’ve been down this road before and they are never really all yours anymore once they start school.  This time, I can’t make the decision to have more babies and truthfully, I really don’t want to (believe me, that was music to my husband’s ears).  I’m all at once sad, yet, strangely curious about what’s coming next for me.

Everyone’s life goes through a change of seasons: the glorious Springtime of our youth,  the bountiful harvest of Summer, beautiful transition of Fall and the peaceful stillness of Winter.  I am standing at the threshold of Fall and feeling a little trepidation of walking in.  Not sure why I’m so hesitant since Fall has always been my favorite season of the year.  In fact, the absence of a real fall is probably the main reason that I don’t like living in South Texas.  I love the vibrant colors of the leaves and the crunching under foot as you walk down the street.  The smell of the cool air immediately makes me think of everything fun and comforting: football,  apple cider, mac and cheese, Halloween, Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday)…all those things that I love. So why then am I struggling with this impending change in my life?

Fall

I’m getting older.  I’m sure that’s one reason why I’m having such a hard time with it.  I knew a man once who, on his 50th birthday, noted that it was a little sobering to think that he had already lived longer than he is probably going to live.  That certainly put things in perspective.  Yet, I’m not sad or even mildly upset about turning 47.  In fact, and I have said this before, for whatever reason I think 47 sounds really sexy.  Forty-seven sounds confident!  Forty-seven sounds strong! Forty-seven sounds exciting!  So, it’s not my actual age that’s bothering me, it’s more likely that it’s time for me to embark on something new that doesn’t have anything to do with my kids or my husband. Something that’s all mine.

I don’t really like to do “new” things by myself.  In fact, doing new things always makes me nervous in general.  One of my fellow bloggers recently wrote about her first time sky-diving and the entire time that I was reading it I kept thinking “Wow! She is soooo cool!” I will never be that cool.  Really. I’m never going to get on a plane to go skydiving. I’m okay with that for the most part, except I want whatever it took for her to get into that plane in the first place and not jump off right before they closed the doors for take off.  You see, I really would prefer to stay in my very comfortable life the way it is, with the covers over my head, where it’s safe.  I know how to be a wife and a mother.  I know what everyday brings me for the most part and I know what I’m doing.  It’s stepping out from behind my “security blanket” that I’m struggling with.  As I approach this change of seasons in my life, I’m struggling with finding my own identity.  Am I the only one?

Thank God It’s Monday!

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Can you hear that?  Listen very carefully…nothing right?  That’s right! Ha! That’s because my house is quiet in blessed preparation for a return to school and work tomorrow.  It’s been two weeks since Thing 1 had her tonsillectomy followed by a bout of stomach flu that she caught from Thing 2. Sure, there’s a bit of coughing  and sneezing going on here and there but, they are going to have to suck it up and deal with it! Tomorrow, Momma get’s her house back! Ha! Don’t act like you have never felt this way before.  You know exactly where I’m coming from.  When the kids are home sick (and don’t even get me started on the husband), they are in your territory and you feel infringed upon. Sure, you nurse them and put up with their whining but, secretly (or not so secretly) you want this to pass quickly so that they can get out of your domain.  It’s your space and your time.

Every mom needs time to herself and I’m no exception.   It has taken me a long time to realize that, like many moms, I have my priorities a little out of whack.  As evidenced by the societal shift in how we refer to women or men who stay at home to take care of their children, the focus has become more on child rearing and less about the parent or the parental unit.  The old school terms “house wife/husband” have been replaced with “stay at home mom/dad”.  As if the need for parents to not only work on strengthening their relationships but, also to nourish their individual persons is not as important when, in fact, both of these are vital to the good health and happiness of our children.

Now, let me be clear, I am in no way advocating selfishness or that parents should in any way emotionally or physically neglect their children.  We need to support our children in their endeavors.  If they are musicians, we should be at their concerts. If they are athletes, we need to be at their games.  We need to listen to their problems and their silly talk  even when it’s about what boy likes what girl at recess.  I have to admit that I tend to zone out during these discussions because after all, they are five and six, how serious could these relationships be?  However, we do need to help them understand that mommy and daddy need to have time together to enjoy each others company and that their relationship is vitally important to the happiness  and security of the family. We must help them understand that individual wholeness is necessary to sustaining any healthy relationship and individual success.  Remember in the movie Jerry McGuire when Tom Cruise says to Rene Zellweger, “You complete me” ?  It was sweet, and I swooned along with every other woman in America but, it’s totally unreasonable.  Can you imagine the pressure that you’d be under to actually be held responsible for completing another person?  And with so many homes being headed by single parents, those parents need to find healthy ways to nourish themselves so that they can be a solid emotional, spiritual and physical foundation for their families, as well.

How do we nourish ourselves? Well, it’s different for different people.  For me, it’s through Bible Study and fellowship, writing, blogging and baking.  I have a friend who is an amazing artist and can not imagine her life without being able to express herself through her paintings.  It can be your job or a hobby but, it is something that you are passionate about that has nothing to do with anyone else besides yourself and leaves you feeling fulfilled.  I have to say that with these things in place in my life, I know that I am a better wife and a better mother because I feel a sense of personal accomplishment and  validation.

So, yes, tomorrow (or by the time you read this, today) I will get my “Me Time” back.  It will probably be spent doing laundry, wiping up spots where popsicle juice dripped on the floor,  changing  bed sheets and other mundane house work. But, it’s my time with my thoughts, when I can laugh out loud at some private joke without a little voice saying “What? What’s so funny?”  or I can sit on the sofa with a cup of coffee for a few minutes without someone busting me for drinking in the living room (a definite no-no in our house). Yep, it’s all my time and I plan to enjoy every minute of it.