I’m baaaack! You may not have even realized I was gone, but I returned home last night from a last-minute trip back to Illinois. I felt like it was time to go see my mom (83-years-old and still beautiful) and just step away from things for a few days. A side note here: While I purposely didn’t post to my blog, I had lots of brilliant ideas for blog topics. Of course, I forgot my blog notebook so none of them were actually written. Now, I am drawing a complete blank.
Anyway, me and my “road dawgs” (Thing 1 and Thing 2) left for our adventure while Big Poppa and the older sibs stayed at home. This was one of the few times that it was just me traveling alone with the girls and they were awesome. They were loud, glamorous, entertaining, curious and obedient. Of course they were still kids, but over all they were well-behaved which was good because we had an 8:00 a.m. flight and well, I’m not exactly a morning person. I may have mentioned that before, but it bares repeating – just so you understand.
As we made our way through the airport, we attracted some attention from some of our fellow travelers, also braving the early morning hours. Most of it was benign, but some of it, considering my fragile state (see paragraph above re: not a morning person) was mildly aggravating. Therefore, as a public service to humanity I decided to compile a few tips to avoid when encountering a mom traveling alone with her children. No need to thank me because it’s the least I could do to apologize to all of those people that received a sideways glance, also known as the “stank eye” from me.
Tip #1: Before approaching or commenting, look at the mom’s facial expression. Ignore the kids because they are oblivious. If momma isn’t smiling or at the very least looking relaxed, just keep moving. Small talk makes things worse.
Tip #2: Kind sir, when you see mom and her kids quickly approaching with their breakfast in hand, looking for a place to sit so that they may eat while waiting to board their flight, please move your things out of the 3 seats next to you. I realize that you think that your expensive briefcase, suit coat and bag from the news stand need their own space, but they really don’t. They will be fine on the floor. Also, when momma looks at you like you have lost your ever-loving mind, don’t look offended. Just move.
Tip #3: Keep in mind that by the time you encounter momma and her kids boarding the plane, she has probably been at this for a couple of hours (you know, getting the kids up early to get to the airport in the first place?). So, when you hear her child asking question, after question, after question these are probably questions number 398, 399 and 400. Not questions 1, 2 and 3. When mom seems a bit impatient, do not pipe up with “She’s just curious,” or “Maybe she’s forgotten.” Just don’t. Particularly if you’re traveling alone. Think your thinks silently. Because you are going to get the chance to read your book, or take a nap or have deep thoughts without anyone looking out the airplane window and asking “Where are we right now?” As if you’re some sort of atlas. *I actually tried to fake my way through that question only to be met with “But why would be traveling in that direction? Shouldn’t we be going northeast?” That’s when I gave her the stank eye.
Tip #4: Finally, fellow passengers, when flying on the carrier that has first come first serve seating, be aware that generally when a mom is traveling with her young kids, it’s probably best for everyone if they all sit together or at least near each other, if possible. So, when she starts down the aisle looking for at least 2 seats near one single seat, do not avert your eyes as you sit in the aisle blocking the way to two empty seats. She sees you and believe me when I say that if she doesn’t find 3 seats together, she is going make her way back down that aisle and deposit her kids next to you. You can answer the “Where are we now?” question while she takes a nap. *By the way, when that flight attendant motioned to me to come to the very last row where there were 3 seats, you should have jumped up and hugged her because I was making my way back to you, babe.
There. I’ve done my part. You’re welcome.