Today we started a new science module for the summer. My girls love science, but I was planning to keep it simple. We began by going over some basic terms (observe, analyze, infer, etc.) then we reviewed the scientific method. They had been asking (every. single. day.) when we were going to get started on the science workbooks that I bought for them, but, if I’m going to keep it really real here, science required more input from me than I was willing to give. I just wasn’t ready, but eventually I got there and we are easing into it.
A little ways into the lesson Thing 1 excitedly asks “Do we get to take a science test?” Her face looked like she had just asked me if we get to go Disney World.
“Uumm, no, ” I replied, slightly taken aback. “You want to take a test over science?” I looked at Thing 2, who was animatedly nodding in agreement and I was suddenly sure that I was being set up for something because this was unnatural.
“YES! I LOVE ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT STUFF I LIKE!” Thing 2 yelled. She yells when she is excited.
Just then her sister, Thing 2, chimed in, laughing and grinning while waving her arms in the air, and said “Well, not a test, but a experiment! YES! YES!”
By now they both were on their feet jumping around dancing and skipping. I tell you it was straight out of some weird sci-fi movie and I was s-c-a-r-e-d.
“We could do something splatuous and all explodey!!!” Thing 2, continued.
“YES, IT DEFINITELY MUST EXPLODE!!!” Thing 1 was yelling again.
“Then there will be all of this smoke and dust around.” Thing 2 was lost in this wistful gaze that I can only describe as , well, weird.
As they continued creating their science experiment fantasy, I sat there with my cup of iced coffee wondering if anyone else’s kids are as freaking crazy as my own. No, probably not. Obviously, somehow I was straddling the line between reality and an alternate universe. One where kids like science, vegetables, clean bedrooms and brushing their teeth. I don’t even know what “splatuous” means. I googled it and even Google hasn’t heard of it. She’s using words that even Google doesn’t know. I was dazed and confused for a bit, but when I heard mention of pink lab coats with their names embroidered in silver stitching, I knew that I had to regain control of the situation.
“Girls. Girls! GIRLS!”
They stopped twirling and looked at me. I think that I must have looked stupid, not sharing in the merriment, and all.
“I really just want the two of you to complete the first page in the workbook.”
They sat down, opened the books and stared. Then Thing 2 turned to me and said “This is it? This is soooo easy.”
They were disappointed, but they finished the page, excused themselves and left me there to wallow in my inadequacies.
Never in my life did I think that I would be judged so harshly for my ability (or lack thereof) to provide a stimulating and entertaining science experience over summer vacation. And what kind of comeback was there for me to use? “Do you ungrateful brats know how lucky you are to have a mother that even buys you science workbooks for the summer?” Doesn’t work does it?
However, I am determined to rebound from this temporary setback. This Mom Fail, if you will. I will dig deep to create a summer science module that will satisfy even these two crazy girls in their quest to be “super sciency” – sans pink lab coats with silvery embroidery, of course. Yes, I will include an experiment or two, although I seriously doubt that it will be “splatuous” and “explodey”. But first, I’m going to go to bed and then I’m going to get up and drink coffee…and then I’m going to pray.