Big Poppa is out of town again. I’m not complaining, it’s merely a statement of fact, since he is gone fairly often. And, you know what? I actually look forward to it. Although I do miss him, his travels give me sort of a respite from some of the craziness in our schedules. It’s one less person in the mix. My son is here but, he’s 22-years-old. He definitely isn’t trying to hang with me. So, really, it’s just me and my girls. Yes, I am solely responsible for them but, I am completely in control and if you haven’t noticed, I am a bit of a control freak. So, if I want to feed them chips and salsa for dinner with pop sickles for dessert, that’s what I do. But, that was just a silly example because, of course I would never do that! Right? I’ve even come up with my own little ritual when he leaves. I buy myself a bottle of wine and a new book to read while he’s gone. I am laughing while I type this because I now have a nice collection of wine in my pantry and several unread books on my dresser. I have no idea what alternate universe that I think that I enter when Big Poppa’s plane takes off , which will allow me to actually have more time on my hands to read and enjoy a glass of wine, than I do when he is here, available to help out. It never turns out that way. Not to mention, I’m actually not much of a drinker. The truth is that the moment that I sit down with the glass of wine and my book, I fall asleep. I know…I’m lame.
One day, Big Poppa was standing in the pantry when he happened to look up at the top shelf, saw my collection of wine and asked me what was up. I told him of my little habit and he replied “Wow, am I really that difficult?” He looked wounded and I felt so bad, sort of. I quickly said “No! No! It’s not you, it’s me!” He didn’t really believe me but, he laughed. I was only half kidding. It’s not me and it’s not him, it’s us. All couples need a break. Although his travel schedule has picked up over the years and it has taken some time for me to get used to, it does give us an opportunity to breathe, to do our own thing and to miss each other.
It’s no secret that this move to Texas has been extremely difficult for me, however, there has been one very unexpected upside to the situation. My relationship with my husband is better. Not that my marriage was bad before but, like a lot of couples, we had a lot of distractions that kept us from communicating with one another effectively. I used to say that we talked in sound bites because we never really made the time to have real conversations. Now that we are here, we really have no other choice but to focus on one another because we don’t know anyone. There are no family members to go visit or friends to escape to, we really only have each other. I have to admit, not having my support system is what scared me the most but, in fact, that has been our greatest blessing. What’s even better is that he, the hubby, has independently made the same observation so, I know that this is not just my imagination. I never expected this happy turn of events but, I am very grateful for it because it has made this relocation that much more worth while.
This photo was taken before the move, in the kitchen that I wanted to rip out but, never got around to it; in the house that needed just one more bedroom but, I loved the flow; in the neighborhood that I loved. As you can see, I’m obviously still not over it yet but, I’m getting there. It’s a slow process so please be patient with me.