Every once in a while, every insecurity that I have decides that this day will be the day that I will obsess over all of my shortcomings. My “mom” insecurities (Am I too hard on my kids or not hard enough?), my “wife” insecurities (I’ve gained too much weight!), or my individual insecurities ( Maybe I should get a job and provide my own retirement benefits?). Trust me, I have no idea how this gets started, I just know that on these occasions I’m one big, hot mess! Fortunately, and thankfully, around these times something happens to remind me of exactly who I am and that I am exactly where God intends for me to be. I’ve been feeling a little unsure of myself lately but, two super cool things happened to me this weekend. Now, let me warn you, they are super cool to me but, they’re probably not going to be super cool to you. In fact, you are probably going to think “She wrote a whole blog about this?”
Yes. Yes I did.
On Friday afternoon, I reluctantly headed out for my Bodypump class. Reluctant because I was tired and sore from my previous class and also because I despise that class with every fiber of my being. Not despise because the class sucks but, despise because it hurts and it’s hard but, I know that it’s good for me. On this particular day, I knew that there would be a sub for the regular instructor so, I was hoping that the sub would go a little easy on us. Well, we did have a sub. A fine young man who looked like his body was chiseled out of limestone. I was worried. His muscles had muscles. To make matters worse, since I was running late, I had to go to the front of the room. I’m a “back of the room” kind of girl. Did I mention that this sub was jolly? Yes, jolly. This fact alone should have been the leading indicator that this next hour was going to be problematic for me.
It was horrific! The entire class was begging for mercy and the jolly dude seemed to be enjoying it. Sadistic. At the end of the hour, as I lay on the ground with sweat dripping from my chin…DRIPPING FROM MY CHIN!!!… I wished that the jolly dude would be wiped from the face of the earth. Then it dawned on me that I had actually done the entire class. Every squat, every lunge, every bicep curl, every everything!!! I did it!!! I DID IT!!! TAKE THAT JOLLY DUDE!!! WHAT NOW?!? Okay, I didn’t actually say all of that out loud but, I was thinking it. I was and am very proud of myself. It was a small victory but, it gave me lots of incentive to keep going.
By the way, in case you didn’t get it, this was the first cool thing that happened this weekend.
As we moved through our weekend my spirits were lifted and I felt a bit less neurotic.
Today, I went for a walk while the girls rode their scooters.
We saw some ducks…
before stopping at the park.
It was while I was at the park that the second super cool thing happened.
While sitting on a park bench watching the girls play, another mom sat down next to me and we began to chat while our kids played. She’s a young mom with three kids, one of which is in the same grade as Thing 1. Since we are both relatively new to the area, we were discussing the schools and she began to tell me that she was looking for a more diverse selection of books for her children since she is Caucasian and they are African-American. I mentioned to her a couple of books including The Colors of Us, by Karen Katz and I Like Myself, by Karen Beaumont. She looked at me and said, “You know, I just heard of those two books on Facebook last week! There is a page called My So Called Glamorous Life that is posting a book every day for the month of February for Black History month.”
Let me pause here. For those of you who may not know, I am hosting a Black History Month book Parade on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter. Every day for the month of February I am posting a children’s book (pre-k through high school) by an author of color.
Okay, where was I? Oh, yes…AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I could hardly breathe!!! This woman, whom I had never met before was reading my stuff!!! I bet you’re wondering what I said? Well, I said “Oh?” I don’t know if it was excitement or fear or what but, I didn’t tell her who I was. I did smile a lot, though. She went on to say that there are a few books on my book parade that she wants to order but, she’s going to wait until the end of the month to see them all before she buys them. Isn’t that exciting?!? You know, I post things that I find interesting or helpful. I figure that if I like it or it intrigues me then there’s bound to be at least one other person who will feel the same. I have no idea how people will receive it and quite frankly, I just enjoy sharing, there really is no hidden agenda. So, it was way super cool to have this complete stranger say that she was enjoying my work.
Needless to say, I’m out of my funk. So, until next time…