Until Death Do Us Part (or Whenever I Get Tired of You)


Big Poppa can’t believe that I am blogging about this and, quite frankly, neither can I except to say, stick with me here.  You will see where I am going very soon and I promise that I won’t take you there again.  Well, maybe I can’t promise but, I will give it an honest try.  Yesterday morning while I was home doing some things around the house,  I had the television on and Chris Jenner, Kim Kardashian’s “Momanger” came on as a guest host.  Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel it is necessary to let you know that I am not a fan of the Kardashians  (any of them or all of them depending upon how you wish to look at it).  However, this is not a “why I can’t stand the Kardashians” blog post.  Anyway, Mrs. Jenner went on to talk about why her daughter, Kim, is seeking a divorce from her husband, Kris Humphries, whom she was married to for 72 days.  According to Kim’s Mom, Kim was very much in love with Kris when they got married, it just didn’t work out and it’s time to move on.  In case you have been secluded for the past month or so, I will tell you that Kim Kardashian is pregnant by her boyfriend, rapper Kanye West.  I say secluded because it was absolutely everywhere! It was breaking news on CNN. Really?!  However, Kris, Kim’s estranged husband doesn’t want a divorce.  He wants an annulment.  The problem is that in order for Kim to grant him an annulment she would have to admit to fraud which her mother says is definitely not true.  She insists that Kim’s intentions were honorable but, things just didn’t work out.  So, get over it Kris!!  She didn’t really say that last part but, that was basically the gist of  it.

In all honesty, I don’t even remember the first 72 days of my marriage.  On March 22nd, Big Poppa and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary.  I would be lying if I said that all of those days, weeks, months or years have been splendid.  Many have been wonderful, while most have been fairly average and some have been very dark.  We are like any other married couple who go with the ebb and flow of their relationship.  Some days, when I hear the garage door go up signaling that he’s home from work, I get butterflies in my stomach and I can’t stop smiling.  Other days, not so much.  I’m sure that he’d say the same…except that I’m delightful. The point is that marriage is not something that can be figured out in 72 days.  Or 8 months like Mike Tyson and Robin Givens. Or, 13 months like Jennifer Lopez and Chris Judd (you forgot about him didn’t you?). Or, 2 1/2 years like Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller (Winning!).  The list goes on and if you think about it, you probably know some not so  famous people in your own  lives that fit the description.  I just focused on Kim Kardashian because she was on my radar at the moment.

In the immortal words of one of our cousins, “Marriage is not for punks!” So, if you have a weak stomach, if perseverance is not your strong suit and if  you can’t handle challenges and opportunities, please do not take that walk down that aisle.  I take my commitment to God and my husband so seriously that it truly irks me when I hear someone – anyone, celebrity or otherwise –  be so cavalier concerning this union.  I admit that marriage isn’t for everyone but, I think that means that we should be wise about our choice of a mate or even consider if we are fit to be someone’s mate.  One should not be entering the church, courthouse or temple thinking that they have an escape clause.  I once had a very wise co-worker who had recently lost her husband of many years give me some good advise. She said “Once, you count out the Big 4 – drug and alcohol dependent, physically and/or emotionally abusive, can’t keep a job, gambles the money away – it’s all a matter of what you can live with.”  She was right.  Personal preferences and petty differences should not end marriages, but they often do.  Now, I do recognize that there are some marriages that divorce is unfortunately inevitable and they cause a lot of pain and heartache for everyone involved.  Somehow, though, I don’t think that the Kardashian/Humphries, and the others mentioned above,  union falls into that category.

Recently, I read a news story that said that roughly 50% of Americans no longer believe in traditional marriage.  Isn’t that sad and scary?  Aside from the fact that I am dying to be the Mother of the Bride (God help us all!), I want my children to experience what I have with my husband because it feels so perfectly right, even with its imperfections.  With all of the talk these days about what is undermining traditional marriage, I maintain that what really undermines traditional marriage is things like this…making a mockery of it.  There is far more effort put into preparing for the wedding day than there is for the life following the wedding.  Painstaking detail goes into the dress, flowers, cake, music, etc. Heck, they televise weddings these days if they’re fabulous enough.  If only we were as thoughtful about preparation to help us make it last.

Okay, I will get off Kim’s back and off my soap box.  I’m sure that part of her estranged hubby’s anger is due to the fact that he feels like a chump but,  whatever the reason, good for him!  Take her task because it just shouldn’t be that easy to walk away from something that should be that important.

There, I’m done.

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